Today I watched the aftermath of a hundred people blowing up unfold in real time on Twitter. Thats horrible, obviously, because people blew up.
I did not blow up. I am incredibly lucky that I’ve made it 21 years without blowing up or having anything else that could be akin to blowing up happen to me.
But god damnit do I feel like shit anyway right now.
And its due to my own problems, which, in comparison to blowing up, are really fucking stupid. So are yours probably. So are most peoples.
Which is where the problem lies. We all have problems, which are often fairly trivial, and then something like this happens to make those problems feel even dumber, but then what? Its not like the trivial problems go away. Just because someone set off a bomb in Boston, while truly a horrible act, doesn’t mean that all the things your dealing with suck less. Sure, it might make you look at them differently, but its all still there, be it problems in your relationships or at school or at work or the fact that you need to pay 30 bucks for a new Xbox power cord.
You feel selfish. You feel like shit. You feel guilty. But everything is still there. Theres no good way to go about things, if you focus on your stuff, people think you’re an asshole that lacks total and complete perspective, and you have your own battle about it. If you try to not let that stuff bother you because things could be far worse, it bothers you anyway.
I don’t know. I don’t know why I felt like logging into Tumblr for the first time in months to post about this. But here we are.